I'll preface this post by saying how much I love living downtown. I do. A lot. I am in the heart of the city with a hundred different places to go (theatres, cafes, parks) just a few minutes away (less by bike). I don't have to commute long distances to work, passing over clogged bridges. My mortgage and taxes are suspiciously low.
And really, any neighbourhood has its problems, from flooding to hoodlum teenagers to hoodlum grannies. The downtown doesn't need another person beating up on it, especially someone who loves it.
But you always hurt the ones you love...
Stop taking our recycling bin. You live two houses over, negating your chances of a clean getaway. We would recognize our recycling bin just from its unusually large size and make, but we also spray-painted our house number on the side of it; the number you only partially scraped off, giving up at the 25% mark. Your lack of moral fibre is matched only by your laziness. How did you expect to hide your crime when you have to put the bin out every week for collection? Or did you have other plans for it? Coffee table? Baby crib? Cubist lampshade?
Okay. Okay... Nobody likes boring, unimaginative cynicism. So here's some creative cynicism (via HeroMachine).